No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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