just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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