he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize