i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
