do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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