I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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