I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
