Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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