After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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