Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
