I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
