I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
