I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
