Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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