The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
