he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
