Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
