Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
