my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
