with your own penis?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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