i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Randomize
