never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
