Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
