were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
