Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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