Banned from zoo.
Again?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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