Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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