He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Farmville is her only friend.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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