I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
