I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
