How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
