I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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