Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
