We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
