I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
