i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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