if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
