They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I can't turn off my feet"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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