is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
we should paint friendship bongs
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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