Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
50% drunk capacity currently
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
God, I missed his penis.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
