I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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