i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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