One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i love accidental penises.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
