i just google imaged poop.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
