I feel like I'm in dance class right now
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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