They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
