This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
