At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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