The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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