at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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