My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
