I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
foreskin is a definite game changer
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
