We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize