you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
