I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
