You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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