All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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