it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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