You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Be still, my beating vagina.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
