I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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