It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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